Blending the balance of our desires and beliefs is an ever-going process in our lives. Speaking to you as someone who's struggled, at times, with his faith and his urges as a man, I believe I have a unique perspective on how the two fit together. It is natural to strive to stand firm in what we believe and for most Christian men, staying within the boundaries of the church is essential for their experience of love. Sex during marriage only is one of those boundaries. This is not a belief for us to judge since there are validities of free will choices for us all in whether we follow it or not. Ancient cultures used to believe that when partaking in sex, a part of the other person's soul would mingle with yours, and that you'd carry that person around with you for the rest of your life.
The doctrine to keep your virginity for your wife is a wise one, when you consider this in some respect. But this presents a unique challenge for those men out there who wish to stay true to their faith. There are a few perspectives to consider when you wish to continue attracting women and then foster your relationship while awaiting the consummation of marriage. Sex is important after all, since marriage to someone sexually incompatible is a difficult union for anyone. This advice is helpful for those men who face the emergence of blending faith and romance.
1. Be clear about what you believe. Keep in mind that things will be easier when you clarify your beliefs, since it is your faith, which guides you through your life. God gave us free will and the ability to think and reason. It is up to us to look at all our options and decide what path to take.
You may believe in some of what the Church teaches, but not all. Or, you may embrace all of the Church's teachings. Your choice is your own; however, you must be clear of your belief and stand strong. 2. Understand that God has a plan for you. You must trust in the fact that there is a woman out there you are meant to be with, and God has a plan to unite you with her.
But there is only so much God can do! After all, we are beings of free will, and it is up to us to take action and seize the opportunities God presents to us. Learn to be proactive in finding the right woman for you. Since your actions are belief based on the path God that has set before you, you have to make it happen. This means going out to meet women, dating and getting to know the woman.
Remember this is not something that just happens. 3. Understand that virginity is not mysterious or essential.
You must understand that sex is a natural act, such as walking, talking and taking in air; it is something that we do. Sometimes the way some individuals consider virginity is confusing and unbalanced. Gods intention is for man to be fruitful and multiply, this means sex. It is one of the greatest gifts from God; his intention is for us to have sex, this is why sex is pleasurable. So to look at your virginity as something sacred is not helpful.
Virginity is meant to be lost - the real challenge is finding the right person to lose it to! Sex has a spiritual aspect of course, since it is an aspect of finding the woman who makes you feel so very alive, whole and loved. The spiritual aspect of sex is different from the act of sex, since it touches you within a deeper level. Striving to achieve this type of intimacy helps you determine if the physical aspects are in tune also.
Do not be afraid to be intimate with women! Kissing, hugging, touching - this is all fine. But sharing your hopes and dreams, staring deep into her eyes and feeling her inner-most desires. that is where true intimacy stems from. 4. Women are real people with no need of a pedestal.
You might be tempted to place a woman on a pedestal when your faith places sex as so important. You may think of a woman as some delicate flower goddess that is treated special and treasured. Keep in mind that in many ways men and women are alike. We all come from the same place. You should never put a woman on a pedestal simply because you find her sexually attractive.
This is not the same as having respect for her. It is easy to love an ideal. But it is hard to love the reality.
The woman who gets awnry when she's hungry, the woman who nags you about taking out the garbage, the woman who wakes up in the morning with bad breath - that is the reality. Rather than idealizing a woman, you have to learn to love the reality of her. Sex is only one of her aspects, since as humans we share many of the same qualities. When we see girls as people, just like us, we are able to get a clearer picture of whether or not we are meant to be with them.
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