How To Be A Nice Guy And Still Get Laid
I suppose I could have titled this article "Why Do Women Show
Absolutely No Romantic Interest In A Nice Guy (Like Me) Even
Though They All Claim To Want To Meet A Nice Guy (Like Me)?"
Whew! Well, maybe not. It sure is tempting though -- because
in my unexpected career as the internet's new "Dear Mr. Abby",
I've gotten some basic form of that question many times over in
the past few months, and I'm getting sick of it. So in the interest
of suppressing my e-mail a little bit, let me show you my theory
of why it is that nice guys are scorned by women everywhere,
and how to get around this social handicap without having to take
night courses in "How to be a Jerk" at your local community
college (although I hear they ARE a great place to meet sexy
young women... ;-)
I'm sure you know the infuriating mantra that you've heard time
and again from women --either in person or on all these stupid
afternoon talk shows: "...But Oprah, there's no one to date out
there, all the guys are all such jerks and losers. I just want to
meet a nice guy..." Oh how they love to whine.
Well if you consider yourself to be the "nice guy" these women
swear they're looking for, but you strike-out with all but the very
lowest end of the female food chain anyway, then you know what
royal bull**** this declaration really is. Nonetheless -- despite
the fact that most of the feral women (18-35) actually date &
screw the drunken lowlifes and pricks they claim to hate -- they
seem determined to drill it into our heads that this happens
ONLY because the right "nice guy" hasn't come-a-stumbln' into
their life yet. Rrrrr-ight.
Ok, here's what's REALLY going on. As usual, women are
talking in code. (They are famous for this).
When women imagine "nice guys" in their minds, what they're
really dreaming about is a guy who makes them feel SAFE... but
in a very *special* sort of way that preserves his male sexual
attractiveness. Actually, this is not very mysterious when you
think about it from the *female* perspective. To a woman, a
safe guy means ONLY that you're physically harmless -- nothing
more. In terms of what you could do to her emotions, well...
that's a different story.
This blend of hot n' cold, exciting n' boring, safe n' dangerous is
what she is REALLY searching for -- this is what she *lives* for.
It's what she thinks of as having 'chemistry' with a guy.
The problem with being overtly nice or lap-doggishly friendly and
accommodating with women is that it communicates the worse
kind of SUBLIMINAL message to them. (P.S. Everything
IMPORTANT that goes on between men and women in the early
stages of all romantic-sexual encounters is always
communicated NON-verbally. Words may be the power tools of
seduction -- but it's what you DON'T actually say with words that
will make or break you!). Anyway, this lousy subliminal
messaging is the key to why nice guys rarely get laid.
'Nice-guy' behavior is NOT something that women see you as
"switching on" in their presence like some well-meaning but
fumbled attempt to impress them. Instead, they believe that
you've been TRAINED (yes, like a f***ing dog) by other, *more
powerful* men in your world to act this way!
In other words, 'nice guy' is how subservient men have learned
to act in the presence of stronger men in order to protect
themselves from harm ("I am no threat to your status as the
more dominant male... please don't hurt me... let me be your
harmless, lovable side-kick..."). To women, then, "niceness" is a
screaming red flashing signal of LOW MALE STATUS, and
...it is an ENORMOUS TURN OFF to them!
This is why they can't develop any sexual energy (i.e., chemistry)
with nice guys, and with good reason. Nature has hardwired the
female brain to seek out the most powerful male to mate with in
order to produce the strongest offspring with the best chance to
survive. It's the same reason why men have been hardwired to
chase after women who display physical signs of youthfulness
(because youthfulness = reproductive success, or viewed the
other way around... old ladies = reproductive failure... i.e., no
eggs left in the carton, to put it bluntly). While male and female
ACTIONS may be completely different, their GOALS remain the
same -- strong healthy babies to carry forth the species. This
is so because "maleness" and "femaleness" are really just two
different but complimentary STRATEGIES for reproduction -- and
men and women are compelled to behave differently in order to
executed these dissimilar strategies on one another.
You see, Nature doesn't care about hurting people's feelings -- it
cares ONLY about reproductive success in order to keep those
precious DNA molecules traveling forward in Time. The dance
of mating & seduction in all creatures is linked inseparably to
this biological imperative. Go against it and you're flying in the
face of millions of years of evolution (or maybe its design, who
knows?). Learn to play by it's rules... and you will win!